A Moment of Varied Emotions

Trying to describe a picture in a way that seems most suited to it isn’t an easy task, I must say. This particular picture was taken not too long ago, hence being able to recall it more precisely and the circumstances it was taken in too.

It was the day my grandmother’s younger brother was to go back to Kerala after his long stay in Bangalore at our abode. We were at the railway station awaiting the train that was to arrive at 5:15 pm. My feeling towards him has always been one that’s not happy nor sad; it feels like a phase that you know will end soon. Unlike the feeling, I have towards my granny’s sister as She invades my personal space like nobody’s business. I’m kinda glad she hasn’t visited for two years or so. It’s just too much drama. I was ordered to share my room with her by my grandmother (her older sister) which I did with a lot of regrets. Her presence very suffocating: as my own room that was so precious and dear to me, felt like a land unknown. It felt like I was entering a dangerous territory every time I walked into my room, with a dangerous animal waiting to find my flaw in order to kill and devour whatever little confidence I had in me. The feeling was really sad. The only thing that I like about her though, is her cooking. Having perfect Kerala food at home, like steaming hot aapams and a lot of fish curry was the only consolidation I got. Thankfully my uncle is such that: he does not invade my space more than a visiting relative should. Therefore, I am always neutral about his visits. The plus points about his visits are more beneficial actually, like family outings, shopping and a lot of yummy food

We decided to capture these departing moments of my uncle at the railway in order to show them to my granny when she missed him. My granny sat with him every day for meals quite leisurely during his visit, whereas with our daily busy schedules we never get time to sit down to eat together. I knew that I would definitely feel sad for her and would see her sitting all alone and wishing he hadn’t left yet.

I am very fond of this picture because everybody has a different expression on their faces due the circumstance that the picture was taken in. I was the one clicking the picture and was trying my best to fit everyone into the frame by slowly inching backwards towards the edge of the platform. I was well aware of what I was doing and was not too close to the edge, but was suddenly startled because an old aunty sitting on the next bench started yelling at me, asking me to move away from the edge as she thought I would fall onto the track and die if a train came by. Therefore, the expressions of all the members of my family in the picture were so priceless.

My granny is on the extreme left of the picture with her hand signaling me to listen to the old aunty and come away from the track. She hadn’t thought about me falling onto the tracks until then and began panicking as usual. My granny’s brother was looking at that aunty with a smile on his face and an expression that seemed to read, “I thought so too.”

My mother responded to my reaction with laughter. I suppose she saw the startled look on my face when the stranger yelled at me to be careful. Thus the picture captures her laughter mid-way through. My father, on the other hand, had a very irritated look, with gritted teeth, looking in the direction of the old aunty. His expression seemed to say, “How dare you yell at my daughter.”

There was one person in the picture who seemed extremely overjoyed with an expression that he was enjoying all the fun; me getting yelled at or maybe even waiting for me to fall. This mischievous family member couldn’t be anyone else except my little brother Joy.

My grandfather looked rather lost and confused about the whole matter and seemed to look clueless. There is also a bystander in the background who is laughing as though he is amused at the whole thing. I do not know whether he was laughing at me for getting yelled at, or the stranger for interfering at an inappropriate moment when the family was being transfixed in time.

I wonder how my granny’s sister would have reacted to such a situation though. Probably with a scornful expression reading ‘Ayo, why did this stranger stop her from falling?’

However, I braced myself and managed to capture this moment and turned around to take a groupfie. This time I was facing the track and took the second picture from an angle. I emerged successful in my mission though I did struggle to fit everyone in the photo because it was my first groupfie ever. On the whole, this picture has a story to tell and to me, it was a novel experience. I would have never imagined that this railway station trip would give me a memory as such that I could go back to.

I’ve never thought about the things such as feelings and emotions of people in a picture until this day I tried to describe a picture of people. I usually like to capture images of nature than of people any day and hence only knew about my emotions towards the picture. Here trying to figure out what each person’s expression could mean was a really new way of looking pictures.

It’s the End of 2016

Well . . . this year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride, no matter whatever angle you choose to look at it from. Having begun the year in quite a bad shape both mentally and physically, it turned out to be not so bad after all. This year has been one surprise after another-good and bad, but I’ve learned so much from it. The numerous deaths, bird brained humans wielding a lot of power, numerous emotional breakdowns, disappointments and so much more.

I’m definitely no more the person I was a year ago. I’ve gotten better at talking to people which was very scary for me in the beginning. Having people around me that I can count on and call friends is also a good feeling. This year also had so many happy memories like, participating in a dance competition after many years, my first ever sleepover, first tattoo and a lot more.

All I want to say now to 2016 is – Thank you for helping me grow as a person and giving me a lot of new experiences and vivid memories to look back upon. Really hoping that there will be a lot of ‘positivity’ in the year ahead of us and I continue to grow and someday become a better human being. By the way, the motto that I’m gonna try and keep in 2017 is Crazy=Genius. I am surely going to try and be myself and accept the flaws that make me who I am. I will follow my heart more and stop overthinking so much and just go for it. And yes, Crazy=Genius is a Panic at the Disco Song that I love.

A Break from blogging

I had decided to blog every day because I wanted to. But now, the tone of my writing has become quite monotonous and I think my writing needs a break. Well, today makes two months of continuous writing that’s an achievement. That makes me happy but I guess this break is much needed. I feel like it’s going to be difficult for me to not flip every time the clock strikes 11 and having something to look do before the day ends. Hoping to be back soon with better writing.

Diwali fun

It is the festive season and the streets are brightly lit with lights, lamps, quite a few crackers and smoke too. I’m happy that it has reduced quite a lot since the previous year. But a long ride on the bike during this time of celebration was most fun. I saw many houses with diyas arranged neatly on their doorsteps and balconies, it looked beautiful. People were also dressed in their new vibrant clothes while little kids were on the streets lighting crackers outside their houses and having to pause once in a while to wait for the cracker to do it’s job so that we could pass through unharmed. On the whole, it was a bright and fun day with my cousins after a long time.

Happiness is…

. . . when you meet your best friend from school after one and a half years and are unable to stop talking. Remembering all the stupid things we’ve done when we were tiny and laughing our heads off. The younger us were such idiots. Being absurdly loud while making people sitting around us give us weird looks. Spending the entire day with her was so much fun.

I began dancing randomly wherever we were, whenever the music changed, embarrassing her and making her say, “I don’t know this person” and walking away from me and making me run and trip. I did this over and over again just to annoy her. I even bought myself a pretty crop top that would now remind me of her every time I wear it. Oh! And also watched a film that was real fun. Hanging out with friends is an awesome feeling.

A Fun Day

Today was different from most others. I went out by myself and had fun while at it. Trying to keep my fears away and not freaking out like I usually do.

Meeting my friend after a while makes me extremely happy. I kept talking until we had to part ways. Bookstores are fun places I must add. A full stomach is not an everyday thing for me but today was fun and I don’t feel bad about eating like I usually do, which is a good thing.

Now when the day has come to an end my legs feel extremely tired. I think it’s the few hours of sleep again (probably). I love you bestie!! My Teddy Bear😘.

Tomorrow is going to be another busy day with yet another best friend. Hoping things turn out well.

The horrors of having no Laptop

It feels horrible to be home with so much time on your hands with nowhere to go. The fact is that I actually have things to do like, reading up for the exam for example. Doing stuff like reading for an exam doesn’t really work out if you are working from your phone. It has way too many distractions like Facebook, WhatsApp and a lot more to keep me away from work without even realizing the amount of time that I’ve wasted.

At times like this is when I really really wished my laptop wasn’t broken. It is really annoying how everything has stopped working. It includes the home PC and my mom’s standby netbook too, which is rickety but worked alright until a week ago. The only fully functioning laptop left now is the one I’m currently using. The netbook mom uses at work. I really have to wait patiently for her to return home and lend it to me and that too only if it is a necessity. As soon as I’m done with this I’m going to have to start reading up for my exam tomorrow until 2 am which is my usual time  to begin feeling sleepy.

Plans…

Plans are made with utmost interest

But, what happens most of the time is that it fails;

And when that does, there is a weird aching in your heart.

However much you try ignoring it.

All you can do now is wait for it to go away,

While keeping yourself occupied with happy thoughts (if possible).